Moms I’ll keep this short and sweet. Your kids watch you all of the time. They become you. Do you want them to become the smallness version of you or the greatest version of you?
They see you give away your power. They see you say yes when you mean no. They see you criticize your body/image. They see you have an overwhelming schedule. They see you taking care of everybody else except your own mind, body and spirit. They see you rush rush rush. They see you breaking your word. None of us are perfect. In fact God made us perfectly imperfect:)
But smallness will make you walk around with broken (or no) boundaries. After 10 years of coaching busy, successful, amazing women I also see a growing trend in women – not standing for their boundaries. They either don’t make boundaries at all or they make them and don’t have the courage to sustain/stand for them. And in turn, they are teaching their kids to do the same. Our kids are saying yes to things they shouldn’t, they are over-scheduling themselves and heavily distracting themselves. Part of your smallness is keeping you spinning and overwhelmed so you never get to your greatness, to your balance to your center or to your calling. Let me repeat that…..Part of your smallness is keeping you spinning and overwhelmed so you never get to your greatness, to your balance to your center or to your calling. As long as we our spinning in our smallness our parenting (and our marriage will suffer).
As we all know boundaries are necessary in building a healthy, balanced life, especially if it’s busy! There are two essential roles in most women’s lives: mom and wife and neither can survive on a default ‘on’ button. They are both living things that needs constant care, love and feeding. Unfortunately we often lose the things that we do not nurture, like our health, our marriage, our business wellness, our spirituality etc. We need to nurture our kids with values that will guide them, including the power of boundaries. And for the career women who are with me in managing work, kids, marriage and other roles we need to know how to manage our careers/businesses with boundaries so it doesn’t consume us. Our health, marriage, connection to our kids, and our faith all suffer when we let our smallness RULE our boundaries.
The one way we can start changing this is to simplify your life. Prioritize your schedule and roles to what is reallllly important to you, and get rid of the rest. Do you know your top 3-4 priorities…these are your ‘deal breakers’ do you know yours? Can you take out the things that are pulling you away from your top 3-4 priorities? This take courage and grace, but you’ll be thankful you did it. Honor yourself by living a life that you love and that is based in your priorities, values and faith/spirit. When we give ourselves permission to do that we feel joy, peace, balance and love on WHOLE new levels! When we aren’t spinning out of our boundary-less lives (I’ve soooo been there done that!) we actually become present to the wonderful people around us, especially our kids and spouse.
My highest hope is that you allow your kids to see and experience your greatness and you lift each other.
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